My sister has been bugging me for weeks now to take a trip over to Ted's Hot Dogs in Tempe. I finally broke this afternoon, and I hopped into her Scion to make the trip to enjoy some of the best prepared Hot Dogs that money can buy (Those of you who are thinking Costco right now can put your $1.62 back in your pocket take a hike).
Ted's is the best, even if you have to spend ten bucks to enjoy it (and you better bring cash, because they don't accept debit/credit) because they grill your dog right in front of you on Mesquite fueled flames. The cook, who has been there for years I might add, murders the meat with his tongs and fork, and it practically looks unedible by the time it gets to your bun...but the flavor is unbelievable.
I took a friend to Ted's once, thinking that it would be a special treat, and was in shock when he ordered a hamburger. I haven't spoken to that friend in three years as a result. If you go, you have to order a footlong, or a jumbo all beef. Pair that up with one of their specialty sausages like an Italian, Brat, or Whitehot and you will be in ten dollar, Pepsi-fueled heaven. Or, if you are feeling brave wash it all down with something called Logan Berry juice.
Perhaps the most notable thing about Ted's Hot Dogs however is the line, which no matter when you go seems to extend out the door and around the block. If you go during the lunch hour, it can be quite amusing watching the crowd get more and more agitated as they watch their lunch breaks dissappear as they wait. They will complain incesantly, but not once have I seen someone get out of line to visit the sandwich shop across the street (or the competing "Z's Chicago Dogs" that opened last year).
The line brings to mind an interesting story from a visit to Ted's a few years back. Truthfully, long though it may be, it usually moves at a pretty rapid pace. But on this particular occasion it was moving slower than usual...at a snails pace in fact.
It really irked the crowd then, when a group of young men, all wearing ASU t-shirts, all with hair too long and speech peppered with "DUDE!", and "Sweet!" decided to order their hot dogs "butterfly style". I looked at the people immediately in front of me and immediately behind me, and they looked back at me, and we all simultaneoulsy said aloud to one another..."What the hell is Butterfly Style???"
As it turns out I knew all along what butterfly style was. I was quite familiar with it, but never knew it had a name before this particular occasion. Hot Dogs are very difficult to cook in a frying pan, as moms the world over have discovered (See Joy of Cooking p325). They cook too quickly and the outside burns before the inside can heat up. The quick and easy solution to this is to cut the hot dog open lengthwise down the middle before frying it in heated butter: Butterfly Style.
But this is Ted's we are talking about here, not Mother's Kitchen. And they are not limited by the constraints of the frying pan. This is mesquite-fueled flames we are talking about here! And Ted's is a finely oiled assembly line process...you have to play by the rules, the hot dogs stand on their own, and there is no room for things like Butterfly Style (or any other style that I don't presently know about).
The already restless natives got even more restless as the cook hunted for a knife to cut the hotdogs with. Police came in to direct traffic, and began changing into their riot gear. The line stopped moving all together. I could see patrons on their cell phones trying to explain to their bosses why they were late getting back to work. Others mocked the naive ASU students for being so dumb, and as things got moving again, people would place their orders for the good stuff, sarcastically adding, "Don't worry, I don't want that butterfly style or anything." This drew applause from the rest of us in line, riot police included.
Most of had the same thing on our minds: line or no line, riots fights and fires, I'm willing to miss work, lose my job, be left by my wife and more to enjoy a Hot Dog from Ted's, and I don't even need it Butterfly Style.
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