Worst...Job...Ever. (8/14/07)

There are some pretty bad jobs out there. I'm sure that many of you can think of something far worse than what I am about to describe...shoveling elephant poop at the circus for example would'nt be that much fun, I don't think. But I see these guys everyday, and I think about how miserable their lives must be...

I'm speaking, of course, of the kids who get paid, essentially, to be billboards for local businesses. It all started a few years ago (in Arizona anyway, and I'm sure that Nevada has similar laws) laws were passed preventing people from posting advertisements on the side of the road. This was mostly a good thing, because who really calls those "California King Mattress, New in Bag, $35", or "Lose 85lbs today...Call Now!" ads anyway?

But Phoenix and Las Vegas are growing so fast, and these laws that removed those ridiculous hand drawn, often mispelled signs from our sight, also prevented builders from posting their professionally printed signs declaring "Starting in the Low 275's".

The solution then was simple. There is a tremendous amount of monney to be made on every home sold in the low 275's (whatever that means!), so what would it kill to pay a kid (or borderline homeless dude with absolutely no ambition whatsoever) 6 bucks an hour with no benefits to cover treatment for the skin cancer that will ultimately form on his face neck and arms to wave a sign in the faces of oncoming traffic.

I would love to be sitting next to this guy at a party, listening to him brag about how he has the best job in the world, because he gets to sit around and listen to music (and in some cases...I saw this today actually...DRINK BEER!) AND GET PAID FOR IT!

No, my friend, you do not have the best job in the world, you have the absolute WORST job in the world.

Oh, and it's not just the builders now who are taking advantage of this loophole in the roadside sign law...its the smoothie shop, and the fitness club, and the jewelery store too. On the corner down from my house there are at least four boys (they all look like they were extras in Dogtown and Z-Boys) hawking this that or the other thing, excited to be earning a few bucks toward the purchase of the Wii their mom refuses to buy for them. They all appear to be bored out of their skulls as I pass each day. One kid has stopped holding his sign all together, and has propped it up with some rocks he found nearby....which has me thinking to myself...

Is it even worth it, I wonder?

In my mind there is only one sign worth puttinng up on the side of the road and this is it...



Yeah, I'm evil, I know.

Leave me a comment and let me know what you think the worst job ever is!