Toucan Dan, Lefty and Me (10/10/07)

At the beginning of this trip I was about as green as they come when it comes to hiking. Sure, I knew that you needed a bear canister and a water filter. But that was about it. The last time I went backpacking I covered about 7 miles in about three days. And that was round trip. It embarrassing, but I will admit that I experimented with canned goods as I prepared for my trip. I only discarded the Chili and Beef-A-Roni when I feared the bottom of my pack would rip out.

And it almost did!

My pack was heavy, no doubt about it. I never placed it on a scale, but with the cans inside it was well over 70 pounds. And at that point I didn't even have water! But even after switching to dry food, my pack was too heavy. The first three days were hell, eventually leading to a very generous donation to the hiker box at Red's Meadow, the first of two backpacker camps we stopped at during our journey.

Nicknames, I learned, are how backpackers remember each other. You will never hear anyone say "hey, did you meet Fred." Rather, Fred will be remembered in some other way.

Chops.

Mutten Pants.

Pearhead.

On the trail you are issued a nickname, and it will stick with you forever.

As heavy as my pack was, I met a guy at Red's Meadow whose pack was so heavy that his veins and arteries pulsated as he tried to lift it. After talking with him some, I learned that he was carrying two bear canisters containing 14 days worth of food. He also seemed to have a six pack of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale in there.

"How can you handle it, Dan?" I asked.

"I'm training for an Ultra". He replied.

Dan with two cans. Toucan Dan. Henceforth you shall remain.

And so it is. You are stuck with your behavior on the trail.

I brought alot of stuff that I probably didn't need with me. If you don't believe me, just go back and read my blog about rope. But as I planned this trip, I got it in my head that I would need a hatchet. It seemed like a good idea at the time, mainly because I was concerned about pounding tent stakes. Sure, I could have used a rock to accomplish this task, but a rock would not have looked as cool hanging from the back of my pack.

So a hatchet it was.

When we arrived at Red's I discarded about twenty items. Rope. Clothes. A five gallon water bottle. A hat. I should have discarded the hatchet too. After all it was just dead weight.

But I couldn't do it. Because by that time it had become my trademark. The item by which I was known throughout the wilderness.

I was the HatchetMan.

And in the wilderness there is room for a little absurdity. Maybe that's why I stashed deep within my pack something that would make me very happy.

A can of SPAM.


(As for Lefty...Well, you'll have to ask Trev about that one!)