Excuse Me, I'm Having a Baseball Moment (8/5/08)

Excuse me.

I'm having a Baseball Moment!

Windshield time.

This is a term that I learned this year that I had never heard before, in all of my 33 years. It is a term used by salesmen, and people who travel a lot, and refers to the amount of time spent driving. Someone who spends the majority of their day behind the wheel is putting in a whole hell of a lot of windshield time.

I know guys who have mosquito crusted windshields...

To them I can only recommend Glide Dental floss, as it's gentle on the gums.

I don't put in a lot of windshield time, not yet. But I put in my fair share. It could be much worse than it is...

Much.

I don't mind driving so much, I really don't. It gives me an opportunity to listen to the radio and learn a little something about what is going on out there in the world, away from my little micro-drug-dillin'-verse...

But ultimately I am reminded of how much I love baseball.

Now I know what you all are thinking. Baseball is the slowest, most boring, yawn inducing sport in the world. The only fatter "athletes" are NASCAR drivers, and the only sport more mind numbing is soccer.

Well, I hate to tell you, but soccer is pretty exciting too, but will agree with you on the point about NASCAR drivers (sorry Ricky Bobbie!).

But baseball? No friggin' way!

There is not a year that passes that I don't have a "baseball moment." This year it came as I sat outside Coors field in Denver, waiting patiently for fireworks to start and quietly wondering why my third hard cider had yet to arrive. The Rockies and Matt Holliday mounted a monumental, history making comeback, and I was swept up in the moment.

We could hear the crowd cheering inside the stadium, but because of a slight delay it was seven seconds before the drunks in the bar realized what was going on...

Cheering spread like a wave...

For a moment, I was a Rockies fan...

And I don't even like the Rockies.

But I do like baseball.



I think Kevin Costner said it best in Bull Durham when he put it this way:

"Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. "

What the hell does that have to do with baseball you ask?

Well maybe I should give you the woman's perspective: Here's Susan Sarandon's version of basically the same statement in the same movie:

"I believe in the Church of Baseball. I've tried all the major religions, and most of the minor ones. I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I heard that, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn't work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me. I prefer metaphysics to theology. You see, there's no guilt in baseball, and it's never boring... which makes it like sex."



Is baseball a sexual sport?


I guess that depends. It sure can be. I think we all know what a "Homerun" is, even if we aren't fans of the sport.

But for me, when I think of it, I think of all the "boring" time I spent with my dad growing up. The moments between innings were moments that we were able to spend time together that I will never forget. The time I spent learning to play catch and hit with my mom are times I will never forget.

So where football is about combat and war, and basketball might be about the urban struggle, baseball was about something more...

Maybe I learned that all that extra time between hits and catches there was something else more important taking place.

Life.

But now I have to get back to windshield time and the reason that I started this blog in the first place. I heard a song on the radio today by U2. It was Where the Streets Have No Name. For years, as I journeyed to Arizona Diamondbacks games (a team that I do like) this was the song that was played before each and every game.

And as I listened to the song I began to think about U2 and why they are so great...the uplifting voice of the people...a band who's music transcends generations and personal difference.


Timeless.

Like baseball.

And I remembered that all of these things reminded me of where I had come from, games that I spent with, happy times with...

My mother and father.

I'm grateful for that. And hope that I can pass it on to future generations in some little way.

Either way, I'm still pretty pissed about Manny Ramirez getting traded to the Dodgers!